Ghjezis Fgugging Cryste.  You fguffing azzole.  “Soory Bucky, I was just….”  It wasn’t enough.  He suggested that if I were to do that again, that he would put my head somewhere inconvenient.  Since I am one of the least flexible people in the world – I can touch my shins on a good day – it would have been impossible for him to do what he wanted; however I felt this wasn’t the time to explain my inflexibility issues with him, that it was better to shut up and concentrate.  The reason for his rather strong response to getting dunked in the water was simple.  I guess I should tell you what we were really doing.  We weren’t rowing around a pond of clean, clear and crisp Muskoka water; instead we were measuring the volume of liquid in the primary clarifier of the sewage disposal system for the resort.  The contents of a flush ends up here first before spilling into the next clarifying pond and so on through 3 ponds.  The sludge – you know what I mean – settles to the bottom and so far from being a pristine body of water, this pond was downright disgusting.  So Bucky had every right to be mad but in doing so threw me off.  I gripped the oars a little tighter and just about squeezed the sawdust out of them as we navigated about the pond.

On we went.  Then it happened.  Bucky asked for a move to right and I sent him to the left.  Unlike before when he managed to stick his landing like a Romanian gymnast, this time he was unable to recover and collapsed into the water.  I had a decision to make.  Save Bucky or save myself.  I chose the latter and rowed furiously to the edge where Mr. Schregardus pushed the now empty boat back out to the thrashing Bucky.  I heard Bucky screaming at me as I high tailed it out of there – at Mr. Schregardus’ suggestion – and found a hiding spot.  My heart was pounding and my body shaking.  Why?  I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face.  I knew if Bucky ever saw me again, he’d kill me, so I lived a life of fear from then on.